Sunday, December 26, 2010

Merry Christmas from Montana!

After a great last two nights out in Helsinki with friends, I slept for only two hours the night before I made my way back to San Francisco waking up at 5am to meet my 6am taxi with all six of my obnoxiously huge and overweight pieces of luggage – not including carry-ons. I was very well packed and just had to jimmy the last few items in my last bag that morning. This, of course, still turned out to be quite a feat and required me having a prolonged fight with the last bag (it was tough but I won). Having just packed the six “big boy” checked bags, literally wrestling them to the ground and into the wall in order to force the zipper, I was beginning to become a pro! I had asked my friend Laura to call the taxi company the night before to ensure that the message of, “This chick has six enormous bags she needs to get to the airport. Make sure you send a big enough vehicle…and a strong driver!” got across. The dispatcher told Laura, “No problem, I will send a mini-bus.” Great. Now I’m the girl who needs a mini-bus just to move her shoes!

When I walked out of my building dragging the first two of the big bags, the driver asked, “Are you coming alone or is there someone else?” I said, “No one else, but four more big bags. Didn’t they tell you?” He said, “No, but it doesn’t matter to me.” It didn’t matter to him until he lifted the first bag…and then saw the others appear one by one (and only getting heavier) as I dragged them through the snow and out to the street. At about bag four he said, “$%@&!! What the hell are you doing? Moving to another country or something?” I said, “Yes, actually I am.” and unhelpfully added, “Sorry! I called last night to warn you!” Apparently, the “many unbelievably heavy bags” message didn’t get passed on as I had hoped.

The driver loaded the last one into the van (I was very happy it wasn’t really a mini-bus – embarrassing!) as I closed up my apartment and carried my smaller but also very heavy carry-ons out. As it had been for the last six weeks, it was snowing to beat the band and I rushed as fast as I could in big boots and with two bags and tried to jump in the back. The door was locked and the driver yelled out the passenger window, “Just come up here. Come right up here.” He patted the seat next to him. I knew I had a lot of luggage but I was surprised that it had taken up the entire back of a van! I threw my carry-ons in and then had to jimmy myself in. There wasn’t really a lot of space up there! I said, “Wow, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I had enough stuff to fill the entire back!” He replied, “Oh, you didn’t. I would just rather shoot myself than put a beautiful woman like yourself in the back when I could have you sit up here with me.” Oh boy. Here we go.

So, ironically, in my last couple hours in Finland and after complaining all year that it was hard to meet people and no stranger would talk to me I happened to get the most talkative, most overtly and bizarrely confident, most annoying Finn I met all year. This guy started talking a mile a minute about hockey, his favorite team the Pittsburgh Penguins, how he liked New York but people in Pittsburgh were much more friendly – people in New York are so busy they make you feel busy you know?!?, about a restaurant in Philly called Fathead’s which made one of the best hamburgers on the east coast and how he ordered only the third biggest one which was 60 OUNCES – HOLY COW – and it came with tomato and lettuce and pickles – and two liters of Coca-Cola and a huge mountain of fries and you just wouldn’t believe it but he ate the entire thing including the whole two liters of Coke and they even asked him how he wanted that burger cooked and they never ask you that in Finland. Just when I thought he might stop to take a breath he asked me how old I was and then he said, “Wow! I am 29 too. It is such a shame you are leaving because we almost have matching birthdays (uh, not really considering his is in February and mine in July…) and we could have had our birthday celebrations together!!! There is this amazing place which has 500 tons of sand indoors and it’s always 20-30°C so you can play sand volleyball and just drink beer and then they have the Megazone where you can shoot your friends with these guns with lasers and run around behind walls in steam – smoke – fog – whatever it is – you know what I mean?! And then you can go bowling and rock climbing and…”

The guy was making my head spin. This went on and on and on until finally he realized that I was staring listlessly out the passenger window just nodding and spitting out random niceties, “Uh huh….oh, wow…sounds nice…” and then he finally stopped talking, paused, and said, “You seem a little preoccupied. Are you?” I said, “Yes, I am. Sorry. I’m moving to another continent today and I’m worried about moving all those bags and whether or not they’ll even let me check them…” “I mean, did you even need all that stuff?!” And, before I could even attempt to answer, he continued, “I would say just burn it. Burn it all.” Awesome. Self-aware, charming, and sensitive. Ugh. He, of course, then continued where he left off before I interrupted him with my preoccupation, “What do you think about Finnish people? I, for one, don’t like them much. They are too quiet. It is much easier for me to make friends in the US. In fact, I’m going back to the US again very soon because the last time I was in Philadelphia I made a friend at a bar and he told me that I should come back and that I could even stay with him for nothing. He told me that my accommodations would be taken care of any time I came for a visit…” Needless to say, it was a painful ride.

We finally arrived at the terminal and he pulled up in the normal spot for drop-offs which is actually a bit far from the door and requires crossing another airport road. Not only did I have a million pounds of luggage, it was also 6:30am, pitch black, about 10°F and snowing like crazy. I asked if he thought he could get any closer given all of my luggage. Before I could even get the question mark out of my mouth he had interrupted with, “They might not like it but I can probably get a bit closer…” and then hit the gas, jumped the curb, drove over the median to the other side and pulled up to the closer curb. Yikes! This guy was sure eager to please but a little unwieldy! I paid him, asked him if he would unload the bags while I ran in to get a trolley, and then high-tailed it inside. I came back out with one trolley and then, upon seeing my pile of bags stacked in the snow, realized that there was no way that one was going to do the job. This was going to be fun! The driver hopped back out of the van where he was warming his hands (it was freezing!), ran over to me hand outstretched, shook my hand and said farewell with a, “Well, it was so nice to meet you and if you were staying then I would ask to take you out for a beer but we have had bad luck!” Yes, what a shame. So sorry to have missed more hamburger and hockey conversation! He hopped back in his van and drove away leaving me standing there in the snow next to the pile of bags which were strewn about in the snow like we’d just knocked over a Jenga tower of gratuitously over packed luggage. Here’s a little tip, buddy, if you’re reading this. Skip the hamburger and hockey chit-chat and help a girl out with her bags!

Alone again (yay!), in the snow, in the dark, I decided I’d better get to it and try to make my way in with my small army of bags. I loaded up the first set of bags, pushed them just inside the door, ran down the terminal to get another trolley, and ran back hoping that no cop had shown up and quarantined the enormous set of bags left sitting ominously outside all by their lonesome. Thankfully, the bags were still sitting there completely untouched and likely completely unnoticed. I loaded up the second set of bags and then ran that trolley in to meet the first. I did a couple rounds of “push trolley one as far as you can with trolley two still in sight” to try to make forward progress with the whole load, passing a hockey team multiple times throughout the process (it was Finland after all – I swear that every time you fly in or out of Helsinki you run into a hockey team!). They saw me run by once, twice to get to trolleys, and then once, twice with the trolleys stacked and toppling over with too many bags. The highlight was when I tried to push one of the trolleys in through a door and there was a hole in the floor which, of course, I pushed the front wheel directly into bringing the trip, the trolley, and me to a very abrupt halt as the back end of the trolley kicked up and literally launched one of the bags up off the top of the stack and about six feet forward. If the hockey team wasn’t already staring at the spectacle that was me before that they definitely were after! (And, again, not a single one of these athletes even attempted to get up and help. What is wrong with these guys?!)

I finally got myself and the bags up to check-in and was very nervous about this part of the process…I had gotten my ticket through United but was flying some little Danish carrier out of Helsinki and had to play by their luggage rules which were either unknown or, even if known, still unclear. The woman at the desk didn’t react too strongly as I pushed the trolleys forward but I definitely got one heck of an eyebrow raise! Meanwhile, I was babbling trying to make jokes about all the bags in an attempt to befriend her a little bit. I definitely didn’t want to annoy her! She held so much power in her hands!

She had no problem checking in the bags and didn’t even blink at the weight which was teetering right around the maximum for “overweight” bags at 70lbs. She checked one, two, three, four, five, and we were almost there when, uh oh, bag six was over the maximum for overweight bags…by about twelve pounds. Oops. She pushed it back at me. “I am sorry but this one is too heavy. It will not be loaded. You must fix it.” I didn’t have many options but she kind of shrugged and said, “I must leave for a few minutes but you can fix your bag while I’m gone. “ Great. Now what? I opened the bag and found a big purse which I then started stuffing with anything heavy I could get my hands on and after playing with it a bit finally found the right balance between taking enough weight out of the big bag and not completely overloading the little bag. The only problem was that this meant I had created yet another bag to check. This was going to cost me my savings in extra fees!

I waited nervously for her to come back and tried not to think about how much she was going to charge me for the (many!) extra bags let alone the weight overage. She returned and before I could get a word out to explain that the scale was clearly messed up because it said 29 kg ten seconds before and now said 33 kg (and the limit was 32 kg), she said, “I have talked to my manager and because of the very special situation we will not charge for your bag overage.” Well, that’s a bit of good news, I was thinking. At least they won’t charge me for the last bag being over the max! She continued, “Your flight leaves from gate 13A so you just must go upstairs through security.” Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did she mean they weren’t going to charge me for any of my bags?! Yep, miracle of miracles, she had for some reason decided to ask her supervisor to exempt me from the extra baggage charges and he / she had actually agreed to it. I’m not exactly sure what “special situation” she was referring to besides my being an idiot and bringing so much stuff in the first place but I must have been a very good girl this year to get a Christmas present like that! I was expecting to be charged around 800 euros for those bags and instead and for no apparent reason at all got handed the “check seven enormous bags for free” card. I really thought about jumping over the counter and hugging her! (NOT appropriate in Finland!)

With the big bags out of the way, I was extremely relieved…it felt exactly like taking 450 lbs of weight off of my shoulders – literally! Incidentally, when I picked up my boarding pass in Munich for my Munich to San Francisco flight the woman at the Lufthansa desk had to scan each of my seven luggage tags. “You have this many bags?!” Yes, unfortunately so. She scanned the bags and the weight apparently came up on the computer as she did so because her eyes just got wider and wider with every scan, “And they are all quite heavy.” Yes, also unfortunately so.

Twenty-four hours after loading the taxi in Helsinki, I finally landed in San Francisco. I was pretty tired given the long and rather stressful trip but the worst was behind me. I just hoped that all my bags had made it with me to California…and that the process of getting them out of the airport and into my friend Ron’s car would be relatively uneventful (but successful!). I landed and checked my emails and found that, unfortunately, my ride (and baggage help!) had fallen through as Ron was stuck in SoCal due to the recent storms and subsequently canceled flights. Bummer. But, bad weather happens and at least I was back in the US where I knew how to get things done and how to find an alternate solution! I called a car service that I had used quite a lot in 2009 but was a little worried about getting a last minute driver with a large enough vehicle. The woman on the phone told me she’d have to talk to her “operations manager” and see if they could figure something out. I realized that this was a relatively difficult ask without any advance notice so texted another friend to ask if he knew of another car service I could try. Instead of offering another car service, my friend Tristan offered to pick me up himself. What a gift!

I got through immigration without a problem after getting asked the standard questions. “Where are you coming from?” “What were you doing there?” “How long will you be in the United States?” To the last one I replied, “I’m moving back…so, I’m staying.” The immigration officer looked up at me and said, “Wow, is Europe really that expensive?” as if that was the deciding factor (it was one of them!), stamped my passport, and pushed it through the window. I was almost home free! There was just that pesky little issue of getting my bags out of the building…ugh!

I walked to baggage claim and camped out to wait for my bags. Almost immediately they started arriving…I say “started” as with seven checked bags it takes a while no matter how quickly they unload the plane! I pulled each of them off the belt and stacked them up beside me before heading off to find a trolley. I came back to the pile about 30 seconds later to find a couple women picking their way through them thinking that their bags might be somewhere in there. “Sorry, ladies, these are all mine.” I said as I walked up. They looked at me like, “Really?! All yours?” Yep, all mine.

I loaded up the trolley and, miraculously, was able to get six of the seven bags on it. In addition to pushing the precariously packed trolley with one hand, I was dragging one of the biggest rollerbags with the other and holding two carry-ons on one shoulder. I was getting plenty of stares and, again, no offers to help. I did attract the attention of every random guard walking around the room, however, who would then stop me and proceed to give me the third degree (“Where are you coming from? What are you doing here? Why do you have so many bags?!?”) but, of course, never offered any help. Considering the sheer number of bags I was pushing / dragging / carrying I was doing pretty well…until my Russian matryoshka doll fell out of my shoulder bag and cracked open on the floor scattering hand painted doll heads and bottoms (there are ten dolls in my set so twenty pieces) all over the baggage claim floor. A few kind souls helped me pick them up and I put my Russian humpty dumpty back together again and stuffed her back in my bag, just hoping she and I would both make it out the door to the arrivals area which was at that point only about 30 yards away. Unfortunately, the guard at customs thought that I looked like a perfect candidate for an extra baggage scan and routed me away from the short route out and into yet another line at the end of which I’d have the pleasure of unloading my mountain of bags and then reloading them on the trolley yet again. I was not happy but I didn’t have a choice. I asked another guard, “You mean I have to go through this line and reload all of this stuff again?!” He replied, oh so helpfully, “Something like that.” Thanks a lot! I told him that there was no way I could move all of those bags through the roped off line of switchbacks and he was at least nice enough to let me leave the mountain at the front of the line while I waited my turn. I finally got to the front, now 26 hours into my travel day, and unloaded every one of those ridiculous bags and put them on the belt. The heaviest bag literally stopped the belt and had to be manually pushed through by the attendant. I didn’t feel that sorry for any of the customs staff considering it was their doing that I was in that line in the first place. I fought back the urge to say, “I told you so!” and just kept my mouth shut before reloading all the bags back on the trolley. I could have shaken those guards!

I slowly made my way out to the arrivals area, doing ok through the straight sections but having to stop and carefully adjust the course of the trolley for every turn before proceeding (tough to steer 400+ lbs with one hand through a turn!). I finally made it outside to the curb and was just about to sit down when Tristan pulled up and immediately put me to shame by picking up my bags like they were nothing and loading them into his car. I was so happy to see him! We left for San Francisco, my first time back since I left in January, and it was great to drive back into the city and past many of the places I have missed all year. It also didn’t hurt that it was about 55°F warmer than when I left Helsinki! (Admittedly, California has made me soft!)

After a year away and narrowly escaping the winter weather-induced European air travel cancellations, I finally made it back to San Francisco with all of my stuff in tow. Another ten hours after that, I was back in the airport and on my way to Bozeman, Montana for Christmas with my family. What a whirlwind! Now after a few days of sleeping off jetlag (in addition to twelve months of intense work hours and crazy travel!) and being pampered by my parents I am beginning to feel normal again and once I actually find an apartment and get moved in I may actually even approach being normal again.

So, as I look back at a truly fantastic 2010 and more adventures than I could have even dreamed up a year ago, I’d like to say thank you to BCG for the opportunity to have this experience. Thank you to Finland for your hospitality and my new friends. Thank you to all those at home (and abroad!) who stuck with me and kept reading. And thank you to God for bringing me full circle and back to my invincible summer.

And with that, this story is now Finnished.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

If life stayed the way it was

Just when I had finally pushed myself to the point of work / travel exhaustion and was ready to ride out my last six weeks in Helsinki with time to say goodbye to my Finnish friends and reflect on the year…I was staffed on a due diligence in London for six weeks (hence the recent radio silence!) and have spent a grand total of two days in Helsinki since November 9th. There is definitely no way I’ll be gently easing out of Finland and landing softly back in the US as I had hoped! Instead, I will fly back to Helsinki from London this Thursday night for some long postponed meetings in Helsinki on Friday (with no option to further postpone!), finish my case that same day with me in Helsinki and my team scattered between Copenhagen and London, and then move out of my apartment at 6am on Sunday morning to catch a flight to Munich where I will enjoy the pleasure of a six hour layover before boarding a twelve hour flight back to San Francisco. I will land on Sunday night in San Francisco, the first time I’ll have been back since I left on January 6, and then fly out again twelve hours later to make the trip to Montana to see my family for Christmas. And did I forget to mention that I will have seven pieces of checked luggage with me (compared to a measly five on the way over – no shipped boxes this time) on the way back weighing in at around 500 pounds? Somebody should follow me with a video camera as it is bound to be an extraordinarily painful but highly entertaining train wreck spanning three international airport terminals and 24 hours. Makes the due diligence sound relaxing!

And although I have been remiss with the blog updates as of late, I have not exactly been standing still (I know, I know, do I ever?). Had I not been staffed on this project at the last minute (and against my very strong will!) I would have spent two weeks in Egypt and the Sinai Peninsula. Instead, I was able to spend a long weekend in Greece in early November and then another long, unexpected weekend in New York a couple weeks later.

Greece had been planned for a couple months and while I’d actually love to spend a month touring and hiking the country someday, I was again confronted with the problem of having too many great things to do and too little time. So, the month-long trip is still on the to-do list but I didn’t want that to keep me from Athens and perhaps a sunny island for a few days. (I forgot to mention how COLD and DARK it is in London let alone Finland these days! I’m starting to feel like I have been trapped in a snow globe…locked in the trunk of a car…parked on the side of the road in Siberia.) I flew from a conference in London to Athens on a Thursday afternoon and had three days to see the Acropolis and escape to one of the islands. Everyone told me this was crazy to do in three days but, as usual, I stubbornly refused to listen and stuck with my plan. I arrived on Thursday night to one of the nicest hotels I’ve ever stayed at (thank you, Starwood points!) where I was even assigned a personal “butler” who could be called for anything my little heart desired. Turns out this guy was more dazed and confused than he was helpful when my little heart desired some fluoride dental floss and to borrow a yoga mat. (It was clear that he was wondering why the hell I couldn’t just be normal and ask for a dinner reservation like all the other tourists!) And for the record, I didn’t get either.

What I did get that night was the best salad I’d had all year (I’ll never take warm climates and good produce for granted again!), cheap wine, and the opportunity to drop ten pounds of clothing off of my body before heading outside. Given that we’d been getting snow in Helsinki for about six weeks by early November, the 75-80°F weather in Athens was heavenly! (In all fairness, I think I lucked out on the weekend I was there. It had apparently been cold, windy, and rainy before I arrived and then was so again after I left.) I spent a lazy evening wandering around central Athens, eating as many vegetables as I could get my hands on, and enjoying the wine before calling it a night.

In order to get to Hydra, a no-vehicle island about two hours by catamaran from Athens, and have some time to enjoy it I had decided I’d leave on the 1pm ferry on Friday…which meant I only had half a day to see the Parthenon and Athens in general. This is, of course, completely insane and I only had time to see the Acropolis, but I had been told by a few people that Athens was a dirty, hectic, one-day-is-enough city and in keeping with my I-think-I-can-do-everything-in-half-the-time-of-a-normal-human mantra, I gave it, oh, about four hours. I certainly didn’t see everything one should see in Athens but I still have that month-long trip to Greece somewhere in my future so I figure I will be back.

In the four hours I did have I shot straight to the Acropolis and was greeted by the imposing, impressive, and brilliant ancient masterpiece that is the Parthenon…as well as by about 500 American tourists who had just descended en masse from the berth of their cruise ship and onto Athens (and me!) for a day. Few things are worse than looking for some solace in a mythical, magical place like the Acropolis and instead running into Donna from Oklahoma tightening her husband Jim’s fanny pack while telling him that he will need new odor-eaters for his tennis shoes after this trip – Wow, had they been a-walking! If it wasn’t Jim and Donna from Oklahoma then it was Beth and Dave from Minnesota having another variant of the same conversation…usually while sitting on the steps of some beautiful monument and smack dab in the middle of the picture I was hoping to take. But, in the end, what can you do? We were all there for the same reasons. It just turned out that there were too many of us there for the same reasons at the same time (and I’m sure this wasn’t even bad in comparison to what it could be during the high season)!

The Parthenon really was incredibly impressive as were the many other beautiful, marble temples stacked upon the same hill. I realized though that after seeing Ephesus in Turkey that I had become a bit of an ancient ruins snob – it was tough to get excited about a handful of temples (albeit collectively considered one of the world’s most precious and perfect ancient treasures!) after seeing an entire, amazingly well-preserved marble city just across the Aegean Sea (although I think I’ll bow out of publicly saying who has the best ruins for the sake of already strained Turkish / Greek international relations). I did enjoy wandering around taking pictures though and, perhaps except for the visible air pollution hanging heavily over the Athens skyline it was really a gorgeous day to be seeing one of the world’s wonders.

I raced back to my hotel, bid a fond farewell to my butler (not really), and hurried to catch the train to the Piraeus port to catch my ferry to Hydra. I was actually on time for the ferry but, quite unlike Finland where even when you’re on time you’re considered late, it didn’t seem like there was much of a schedule let alone adherence to it when I arrived at the port. The ferry showed up nearly an hour late (no announcement, no reason given), took forever to de- and re-board, and we finally took off about two hours later when we should have been arriving in Hydra Town. But, again, this kind of delay is par for the course in southern Europe so I wasn’t too surprised!

After being packed like sardines on a ferry for a couple hours, I arrived in Hydra Town and found it just as expected – quaint, beautiful, and low-key, tucked into a very pretty little cove on the island. As mentioned, there are no vehicles allowed on Hydra (although I did see one garbage truck at one point – I guess some exceptions are worth it!) and the locals get around on foot or by horse or donkey. I spent the afternoon walking around the island and getting lost in the maze of pretty little Greek stucco houses stacked upon one another and climbing up the sides of the island. Given my history with getting lost, particularly the extent (and sheer distance!) to which I’d been lost before, I was completely comfortable wandering around without a clue. I figured that I could get lost in the tiny, winding stone streets for a couple hours and then eventually pop back out somewhere in Hydra which, for once (thankfully!), is exactly how it worked out.

One thing that struck me as I walked along the water was that nearly every boat in Hydra was flying the Norwegian flag…what were all these Norwegians doing so far from home? I’ve learned that if you even mention the word “Norwegian” to any non-Norwegian European, you will usually hear “all that oil money” before you can even finish your sentence. So, it follows that all the fancy yachts and October tourists in Hydra come all the way from Norway in search of some autumn sunshine by which to sail their oil-funded yachts, while their home country is getting colder and darker by the day.

I woke up to another fantastic day on Saturday and grabbed a “cheese pie” (soft Greek cheese wrapped in triangle-shaped phyllo dough) and a diet Coke – breakfast of champions! – on my way out of town for a hike to the beautiful Agios Konstantinos (Church of St. Constanatine) perched atop the highest mountain on the island. The hike up was absolutely gorgeous at about 80°F of perfect sunshine and clear skies. I climbed up the remnants of old stone steps which had been used by the monks hundreds of years ago and had a spectacular view of the water and neighboring islands. (The steps were originally laid down by a monk who took on the project as a sort of penance – yikes!) The view alone motivated me to commit more strongly to my future month in Greece trip! I had a great time hiking around the island for a few hours and spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in the sun on the porch of my guest house doing a little bit of work and just enjoying the lazy ambiance of the little town.

Sadly, Sunday came all too fast and I had to be on an 11am ferry in order to make my 4pm-ish flight (the reason why everyone thought I was crazy to make the trip in the first place!) so it was goodbye to the Norwegian yachts, donkeys, and spinach pies and back on the little catamaran to get back to Piraeus. Again, and not unexpectedly, we left rather late but I still made it back to port in time to hike back to the train station, catch two trains to the airport, and then my two flights home to Helsinki…arriving at around 11pm. Twelve hours of return travel including a catamaran, two trains, and two flights for only two and a half days of fun seemed like a pretty high price to pay but, given that this was to be my last “fun” trip of the year (although I didn’t know it at the time), I was happy I did it!

The reason this was to be my last fun trip is because the very next day after returning from Athens I got staffed on my current project which completely changed my last six weeks in Europe. This project not only required that I cancel my vacation plans and delay my move back to the US by a week (so now I will arrive just before Christmas with no apartment and no time to find one before the holidays!) but only after getting sent to London did someone figure out I wasn’t even legal to work in the UK as a US citizen. Subsequently, I had to make a last minute trip to New York to get an expedited work permit which required copies of my college transcripts, copies of my last year’s worth of pay stubs, proof that I had a “special skill” that couldn’t be found in the UK (quite a stretch!), more passport pictures, a “biometrics” session (even more pictures and fingerprinting)…I swear I started having flashbacks to the Russia visa process! Four days and who knows how many thousands of travel dollars and immigration lawyer fees later I flew back across the pond, no longer an illegal. What did this earn me? Nothing but more scrutiny and fingerprinting every time I go through UK immigration. Turns out the more legitimate paperwork you have the more scrutiny you get. Go figure.

I’m now in the homestretch of the case but, much crazier and exciting yet disturbing, am in the homestretch of the year. Speaking of “home,” I’m not even sure I know what that means anymore and the moving, the goodbyes, and the starting over (again) is overwhelming…just as it was a year ago. But, regardless of my being overwhelmed, time just keeps ticking away and in one week I will be back at the beginning at the end. I just haven’t figured out yet if this is a good thing, or maybe more telling, if I’m ready for it even if it is.

I am beginning to think I might need to stand still for a while.

(Standing still, of course, being relative!)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

What a circus (part deux)

After nearly ten months in Helsinki and only a few hours by car away, I was finally able to actually visit St. Petersburg. You may remember that I had initially attempted to get a double-entry visa for Russia so that I could visit both Moscow and St. Petersburg but that my plans were thwarted by the collision of my naiveté with the bureaucratic and inefficient mess otherwise known as the Russian consulate’s office. The worst part about the visa screw-up is that it meant I had to go back to the mess and start the whole process over again. I had been hoping for more of a “forgive and forget” than “rinse and repeat” after my first experience there.

Frustrated but undaunted and hopefully a bit wiser, I went back to get another visa for my visit to St. Petersburg. I went to the same Russian consulate’s office, walked in the same door, stood in the same maddening line, came prepared with the same reams of ridiculous paperwork/pictures/proofs, and spoke to the same Russian woman at the desk. “We do not make visa for Americans.” Right. Of course you don’t. “I have a Finnish work permit for longer than 90 days so you do.” She was unwavering, “No, no make visa for Americans.” I was insistent, “But I already got one here…just last month…from you.” I flashed my last Russian visa in front of her. She paused and came back with what I suppose she expected would be the knock-out blow for this little fight, “But you must wait 10 days for visa. No visa faster than 10 days.” Ah-ha! Gotcha, lady! “That’s ok,” I replied with a smile, “I can wait.” She looked surprised. “Is ok?” “Yes, is ok.” She sighed and started waving the documentation in…passport, picture, invitation to visit the country, application. She took a look at my application, the exact same one I had filled in and she had accepted a month prior (and then promptly threw away because “application no matter – only invitation matter!”), and pushed it back under the window at me. “Wrong application. Cannot be used.” She pushed another one under the glass and pointed me to the side of the room to go fill it out. Ugh. Now I’d have to stand in that line again!

I had learned over my last few visits to just play the game and not ask questions even though the application she was making me fill out was identical to the one I had already completed despite being a few questions shorter. I quickly scribbled my information on the new application, got back in the now longer line, and finally made it up to the window again. There was a man in front of me trying to get his visa and to whom the woman at the desk was attempting to explain the whole payment procedure (down the road and in a bank requiring the receipt be brought back to the consulate’s office within two hours). Her broken English was only adding to his confusion so I jumped in quickly to explain. No need for someone else to suffer! I had worked hard for my insider’s knowledge and this would probably be the one time I would be able to use it to help someone else! He thanked me profusely and then it was my turn. Blessedly, there were no other major hiccups, new policies, or documentation changes and it went relatively quickly. When she pulled out the map to show me how and where to pay I put my hand up and said, “I know where to go. I will be right back.” I wasn’t up against quite the time limitations this time as last so I didn’t even have to run to the bank. This was turning out to be an almost leisurely experience (when you have the previous one to compare it to almost anything sounded nice in comparison)! I showed up two weeks later, waived my pick-up form at the woman from the back of the line knowing that she’d pull up any quick transactions like simple pick-ups (this was my seventh time in this line, after all), got immediately waved up to the front, and had my passport with new visa in hand within ten minutes. I thanked the woman, she nodded and smiled, and I walked out of that office nearly as happy about the fact that I would never have to return as I was that my visa was issued correctly and I’d finally be able to visit St. Petersburg.

I was even more appreciative of my visa as I stood in line to board my flight and the British woman in front of me, who had already flown the three hours from London to Helsinki, was denied boarding to St. Petersburg at the last minute because her visa had been issued with the wrong entry date. The airline employee tried her best to be sympathetic but the woman was inconsolable, “I have my invitation right here with the right dates! The consulate made a mistake! I have a two week trip planned and you’re not going to let me board my last 45-minute flight?!” “I am sorry but they will not let you into the country if your visa is wrong. They would just send you back here.” What followed was a lot of expletives, bouts of crying, and spastic kicks to her bag as the woman tried to figure out what to do and if this situation could be resolved from Helsinki or if she’d have to cancel the whole trip and go back to London. It made me very thankful that I had at least noticed my first visa was wrong before I tried it! What a disappointment!

A short 45 minutes later I landed in St. Petersburg and it really is amazing what a difference 45 minutes and only 450km can make! I left a very slick, high-tech, western European country and before I could even finish my little cup of water on the flight was literally on another continent and feeling like I had flown around the world. St. Petersburg, with nearly five million residents, is the third largest city in Europe and is about ten times bigger than Helsinki. It’s also about ten times less streamlined, efficient, and (seemingly) modern. This makes things a bit more inconvenient of course but also makes it feel much more exotic and culturally interesting. I met my friend John there who currently lives in London and, miraculously, we found each other in the airport without any prior coordination. (Thank goodness for small airports!) I went to the information desk to find out about taxis and while we were relaying our destination to the coordinator a woman behind me chimed in, “Are you going to Petro Palace?” I nodded, “Yes.” “Petro Palace Hotel?” “Yes.” “Are you staying there?” “Yes.” “I am staying there too and am traveling alone. Would it be possible to share a taxi with you?” I immediately responded with, “Yes! Of course!” John looked more suspicious but I had the ticket for the taxi and I’d already said she could share so we all headed out together. I gave the ticket to the driver (with agreed destination and price so there would be no “discussions” about this later) and we all hopped in the taxi. Our new travel buddy lived in Cambridge, had perfect British English, and was in St. Petersburg for an educational conference. I chatted with her a bit when all of a sudden she said, “Excuse me,” tapped the driver on the shoulder and out came a barrage of Russian. Wow. Where did that come from?! Both John and I had assumed she was British!

Turns out that Irina was born and raised in Belarus but had moved to the UK 15 years prior for work and had then just stayed (she told us, “There is nothing in Belarus.”) Her son was actually in college in St. Petersburg so she was able to kill three birds with one stone – hit the conference, visit St. Petersburg for the first time, and visit her son, coincidentally on his 21st birthday. We got out of the taxi at the hotel and I paid. Irina had to run to her conference which began in just a few minutes and she didn’t have rubles on her anyway. We agreed she could just pay me later that weekend, either leave it at the desk or slide it under my door, when she got a chance to go to an ATM. We said our nice-to-meet-yous and farewells and she was on her way. John gave me a look that said, “You just got had. She’s not paying you!” (He might have actually said this out loud – I can’t remember now!) but I was confident that Irina would come through.

I wanted to go to the circus and the ballet while in St. Petersburg - the circus because Moscow’s was so crazy and St. Petersburg’s is even more famous and the ballet because St. Petersburg is the birthplace of ballerina Anna Pavlova and the home of the Mariinsky Ballet (formerly the Imperial Russian Ballet). When in Rome! John was happy to go to the circus and said he could be convinced to see the ballet. I told him that it was of course up to him but I was going to both. Lucky for John the circus was first.

I had looked up tickets for the circus a week earlier but was then locked out of the pre-booking a few days before the show so hadn’t actually purchased the tickets. I asked the concierge if we could just get tickets at the door and she replied with the very helpful, “You can try!” I had her check the address I had looked up and its location on the map and then we were off to “try.”

The reason I had initially planned to go to St. Petersburg in September is because I had wanted to avoid the very hot summer (heat wave and fires in Russia all summer this past year – yikes!) and tourist crowds but was hoping to get in before the winter weather took hold. (Autumn is an unbelievably short season on the Baltic!) John and I headed out to walk the two to three kilometers to the circus just as it started snowing/sleeting. I have to say that it wasn’t very pleasant and was really the worst case scenario as the snow was so wet…light enough to be blown sideways and into your face but just barely at freezing so it was really more like freezing rain, making it wet, miserable, and very cold. We walked quickly because of the weather but had plenty of time to get such a short distance away. There was some solace in knowing that we’d be inside very soon.

Or so we thought. Even though I had asked the concierge to verify both the written address and its actual location on the map, she had led us astray. After about 10 minutes of wandering around in the flying slush and getting to where the circus should have been, and then another 10 minutes of asking locals where it was (not so shockingly, very few people speak any English but very shockingly, no one knew where the circus was), we finally figured out that it was another few kilometers along the canal crescent. Basically, we had walked southwest and we needed to go southeast so now had to make up the other leg of our unfortunate triangle. John was dressed for London rather than St. Petersburg so was already not very comfortable or happy and even though I was dressed for the weather it was really cold. We ploughed our way heads down through the sideways sleet and finally got to the circus about 15 minutes late. We were somehow able to buy tickets which involved lots of incomprehensible Russian/English babbling but no understanding after which a woman miraculously appeared from a hidden ticket window and opened up shop for us late arrivals. (I also noticed that the price we paid at the door was around $8 vs. the pre-booking price of around $60…somebody’s making a lot of money as the circus ticket middleman!) We were given half printed and half handwritten but 100% unintelligible tickets and then left to fend for ourselves. We found a door and grabbed a couple seats, assuming it was open seating since at least nothing looked like a seat number on our tickets although, really, who were we to say?

We arrived just as the cat tricks began with a Mary Poppins-looking blond woman coaxing cats with little bits of kibble to jump through hoops between platforms and to leap off of a many meters high pole. Then came the monkeys dressed in monkey suits (appropriate) who could walk on two feet on a tiny pole between two platforms, do somersaults and front flips down a balance beam, perform a lay-up from high up on a pole, and back flip into and out of their trainer’s arms to and from a small podium. The cats and monkeys were cute and innocuous and I was wishing that we hadn’t gotten kicked out of our front row seats (turns out at least some tickets did have numbers on them) when four full-size and frothing at the mouth (literally) camels were unleashed into the small arena. Keep in mind that the arena is very small, indoors, and completely unprotected with spectators, many of them toddlers, literally only a few feet away. In only a few seconds four galloping camels had entered and were running around the arena in full-on Arabian costume regalia, one carrying an “Arabian princess,” and all being chased by a crazy guy with a whip which he wasn’t at all afraid to use (hence the angry frothing). The camels ran around the arena in unison, then ran around with two hooves in the arena and two up on the arena walls, and finally posed in front of the crowd still up on the wall but on only one leg…quite seriously one nudge away from toppling on about five small children and a few parents. There were no fences, no leashes, no nets, no tranquilizer guns, no nothing…except for the badly costumed and mean whip wielder.

This turned out to only be the beginning of the bizarre…we saw an amazingly talented and seemingly very happy seal do everything from dancing with his trainer (upright on his back fins) to throwing a beach ball up into the air while he did a quick somersault on the floor before catching the ball again on his nose, exotic birds which played “dead” and allowed their trainer to juggle them, and then there was the grand finale…“dancing beers” (“dancing bears” when said sans Russian accent). Three full grown brown bears came toddling out to the middle of the arena dragging a cart, again with no protection or barrier between the animals and the audience, wearing goofy looking tutu collars and then made to arm wrestle a member of the audience, successfully navigate a table maze, jump rope, hula hoop, and finally wrestle and then slow dance with one of the (human) performers. (The hula hooping was my favorite!) It was amazing both because bears can actually be trained to do these things but also because no one in either the circus or the parental audience had any qualms about unleashing three brown bears in an open room of people. The pictures are unbelievable and definitely speak for themselves. I don’t know what I would have done had I been the audience member pulled from the stands to arm wrestle a bear! (For the record, the bear crushed the guy. And no, they weren’t actually holding hands but handles set up on either side of a “non-claw” arm-wrestling contraption made just for this purpose. However, the guy was still sitting directly in front of and about one foot away from a full-size brown bear to arm wrestle.) It was another incredible show if a bit disturbing with respect to the humane treatment of animals as well as toddler safety!

John forgave me for getting the wrong directions for the circus (partially his fault for not reading the blog and being prepared – this isn’t exactly the first time I’ve gone the wrong way!) and we had a great time with all the little Russian kiddies at the circus. Our next task was to try to find dinner in a blisteringly cold and seemingly empty downtown St. Petersburg. We walked around for a bit and settled on a little Russian tavern near our hotels. I eat almost anything and love trying new foods in different places so I generally don’t have any issue finding something at a restaurant…that is, of course, until St. Petersburg. They handed me a 20-page menu with very little that sounded edible let alone appealing (yet another country/culture in which vegetables were too few and far between for too many years to be a major part of the national cuisine!). I finally settled on an eggplant appetizer - I was doing my darndest to get a vegetable in somewhere - and a kebab thinking that surely a kebab is something that is hard to mess up. I was sadly mistaken. My healthy eggplant turned out to be eggplant skin (which you normally remove!) dripping in oil in covered in some kind of greasy, ground-up nut concoction. The kebab, which I was expecting to be chunks of lamb and (fingers crossed!) grilled vegetables on a skewer, was ground lamb smooshed along a long skewer and three pathetic little slices of limp cucumber flopped over on the side. I tried to eat it but after I saw the fat dripping off the skewer and congealing in big pools on my plate I got disgusted and had to stop. Even given how little I ate I probably had more saturated fat in this one sitting than I’ve had in the last five years of my life combined. Yuck! Unfortunately, this turned out to be only the first of my food woes in St. Petersburg.

The next morning we searched for breakfast and, again, had a hard time finding a restaurant or café. I should be clear here. We didn’t have a hard time finding cafes serving cakes, chocolate crepes, or pastries but we did have a hard time finding anywhere which might serve real (nutritious) food. We settled on bad mystery pastries and a yogurt and moved on with life and on to the Hermitage Museum.

The Hermitage is an absolutely enormous construction of a few very large and elaborate buildings which served as the “Winter Palace” (there is a “Summer Palace” about a 10 minute walk away), art storage, and exhibition space for various Russian Tsars and Tsarinas. While the Winter Palace began as more of a large winter house when initially commissioned by Peter I in 1711-1712 and then continued to grow under subsequent Russian rulers (both in size and impressiveness of its art collection!) over the next several decades, it is Catherine the Great who is known for being well-read in the arts, theology, and philosophy and for developing the Winter Palace into the beautiful monstrosity that it is today. She championed the effort to bring many of the most famous paintings and sculptures to St. Petersburg and was apparently a pen pal of sorts with Voltaire for many years. She invested in bringing Western Europe to Russia’s doorstep and is credited for making St. Petersburg the unique and gifted (literally) city it is today.

The Hermitage was overwhelming both in terms of sheer size and decadence but also with respect to the masterpieces it still houses today. There are ten kilometers worth of walking covering 350 rooms of exhibits housing over nine million individual items and pieces of art in this museum which would take three and a half months of 24 hour days in order to see every item for just a single second. Given that we had only one day, and that I at least have a museum max capacity of about three hours (embarrassing!), the place was intimidating. Thankfully, with some good guide books and a little help from the map we were able to pick out our individual must-sees and prioritize those. Also very nice is the fact that if you get sick of looking at art you can focus on the palace interiors where each room is its own work of art. We saw sculptures by Michelangelo (“Crouching Boy,” specifically), gorgeous paintings by Leonardo da Vinci (“Madonna and Child” was my favorite), Rembrandts, Picassos, Raphaels, and Van Goghs. (Interestingly, the Van Goghs were housed in a completely plain side room void of all of the over the top, luxurious décor of every other palace room, The Russians must not think much of Van Gogh!) We saw Peter the Great’s throne room, piles of ancient Egyptian artifacts, and even a replica of the fantastic gallery in the Vatican created by architect Donato Bramante which Catherine the Great liked so much that she commissioned one of her own. (The building of this beautiful corridor is said to have required expanding the current footprint of the building…right over top of the poor, local people who lived on the property at the time. Not hard to guess who came out on top in that one.) I wasn’t expecting the Hermitage to house so many artistic treasures. St. Petersburg is in the corner of the world after all and isn’t exactly the easiest place to get to! I later researched it and the Hermitage is the largest museum in the world in terms of floor space and number of exhibits in a single building.

We spent a good four to five hours in the Hermitage before calling it a day and heading out of the maze and back out into the very brisk Russian air. We decided to grab a late lunch and stuck to the rather touristy Nevsky Prospekt street which isn’t necessarily highly recommended in terms of quality but at least had many restaurants from which to choose (and in weather like that you don’t want to wander for too long!). We settled on a nondescript café serving everything from pizza to pasta to sushi – turns out even Russians don’t like Russian food when given other options! I ordered a veggie pizza which I figured was difficult to screw up and after not having eaten much at dinner the previous night or at breakfast that morning really didn’t care to take any chances. The waiter asked if I wanted “double-cheese” to which I said, “No, regular cheese is fine.” This turned out to be a mistake as the pizza showed up with no cheese at all. I just wasn’t having any luck at all with food in that city! Without cheese, the “pizza” didn’t amount to much but it wasn’t worth wasting time and ordering something else so I ate some of it and just hoped for better luck at dinner.

We then left for the Church of Our Savior on Spilled Blood (actual name is Church of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ) which was built to commemorate Emperor Alexander II who was murdered on the site in March 1881 when a bomb was thrown at his royal carriage. The Church actually juts out into the canal in order to encompass the actual location of the murder and was built in a similar hectic, circus-looking architectural style to that of St. Basil’s in Moscow so looks a bit random and off kilter all together. It is still very unique and exquisitely beautiful, however, the interior covered in fantastic floor to ceiling mosaics made from tiny centimeter square stone and glass tiles.

The ballet was the next activity on the agenda and although we had just missed the very famous St. Petersburg ballet performing The Nutcracker which was to begin in a couple weeks, we were able to see Swan Lake and at the historic Hermitage Theatre no less! After seeing the circus mark-up I had opted not to pre-buy our ballet tickets and to just hope for the best and that they’d be selling them at the door. I also asked a couple different people at the hotel where the Hermitage Theatre was (we already knew where the Hermitage was which was a good start but that complex is huge!) and given that they converged around the same area (but were still a bit different) I figured that if we got to the general vicinity that we’d be able to figure out the rest.

We walked along the outer Hermitage walls along the Neva River and just kept walking and walking, passing the area where the Theatre was supposed to have been. We saw a light and a tour bus up ahead, however, so kept going and when we got to an unmarked but open doorway on a street of otherwise only blackness we figured it must be it. We walked up a few flights of stairs with the crowd and finally got to a woman collecting tickets who we asked if this was in fact the ballet and, if so, could we buy tickets? She looked confused, muttered something in Russian, signaled for us to wait, and ran to the back. She returned a few minutes later with another woman who told us that it was possible to buy tickets but we must pay cash. Perfect! She clearly didn’t sell tickets on the spot very often (or ever) but we worked it out and within a few minutes we were sitting in the Hermitage Theatre about ten meters from the stage. (I should note here that the tickets were about $70 at the door vs. around $180 if bought through the hotel or $160 if bought online – what a scam!) I don’t know much about ballet but I love the cross of beauty and grace with athleticism which is always humbling and unbelievably impressive. I’ve also never been able to sit so close in a ballet and it was really amazing to watch from only a few meters away. John was a good sport and even said he liked it…all except the “girly looking men in tights” who apparently really detracted from “all the beautiful women.” John made it very clear that, in his mind at least, ballet should be restricted to women only.

After a lovely cultural experience, we set out for the third time that day to find a decent meal. Now around 10pm, we were disappointed to find that most restaurants were closed. One looked quite good and we foolishly passed on it to see if we could find something better nearby. After walking relatively far away from the first place, we finally just settled on a conveniently located karaoke bar/restaurant – hey, when you’re desperate you’re desperate! – and headed in to find a smoky, screech-filled room of raucous Russians. I don’t mind karaoke but when it is mostly in Russian and is literally being screamed instead of sung at a volume probably five times too loud for human ears it can be a bit too much! I decided to suck it up and just hope that what the place lacked in singing ability it made up for in food.

I decided to order something simple and Russian which I was hoping meant that they couldn’t screw it up and ordered the stroganoff. Through a blustering barrage of Russian interspersed with a few words of English and lots of hand gestures I understood from the waitress that this was all gone for the night. Ok, no problem. I then ordered vegetarian lasagna. Nope, that was all gone too. I then went back to my “order local” plan and asked for Chicken Kiev. Bingo! They could do that one.

My Chicken Kiev arrived about 15 minutes later and didn’t look great but it at least looked like food so I prepared myself to make the best of it, cut into the chicken, and found that it was almost completely raw inside. UGH. Nothing was really salvageable without risking salmonella so I called the waitress back to show her. I obviously can’t speak Russian and she didn’t really speak any English but raw chicken speaks for itself, right? Wrong. She looked at it, looked at me, and shrugged. Nothing was wrong in her eyes. I tried a couple more times to explain but we just couldn’t get past the fact that the raw chicken seemed fine to her. I caved and asked for the menu again so I could order something else. She said, “Sorry. Kitchen finish. No more.” Of course it is. “Kitchen finish.” Meant that they wouldn’t even scoop me any ice cream which I could have survived on (I’ve done it before!) so I was back at square one.

Normally, this would have been more of an annoyance than anything else but since I hadn’t really eaten anything of substance since lunch the previous day I was getting a little desperate. Actually, I was getting a lot desperate. We had seen a McDonald’s earlier that day and I figured that this might be my only chance to get any food at that time of night. We paid the bill at the karaoke bar, made our way out during a rendition of the “Land Down Under,” and headed to Mickey D’s. John was laughing at me before I even had a chance to order, in anticipation of what an entertaining mess this ordering process would be. McDonald’s came through though…the cashier took one look at me and grabbed a “picture menu” which she held for me as I looked at all the very familiar options and pointed at what I wanted. I ended up with a chicken sandwich which I’m still not convinced was actually chicken but was at least cooked (probably originally in the US before being flash frozen and then put on a plane to Siberia to be microwaved for me in St. Petersburg a few months later). Again, I was desperate and, for the first time in my life, very thankful for the golden arches!

I woke up the next day to find that 250 rubles had been slid underneath my door during the night. Irina had come through! (You can never have enough faith in people – by and large they come through!) John and I then spent most of the day walking around the city center, out to Vasilievsky Island, and then on to Peter and Paul Fortress which was built by Peter the Great to protect the city from Swedish attack. John shipped off back to London and I still had a few hours in St. Petersburg so spent time climbing up the massive St. Isaac’s Cathedral (the red granite columns alone weigh 80 tons each) which had amazing views of the city. I was really surprised at how much St. Petersburg looked like Helsinki and it really should not have been a surprise since Finland was under Russian rule for over 100 years from 1809 to 1917. This is not communist-style Russia mind you. The cities are both actually very pretty but seem much more formal, for lack of a better term, than do most other European cities. While St. Petersburg is much bigger than Helsinki, they are really similar in look and feel with rather large, stately, and different colored Russian style buildings lining the Baltic Sea. Appearance (and maybe a shared love of karaoke!) is where the similarities end, however. Finland is a country where I was able to survive for two months without local currency because even the taxi drivers all accept credit cards. It’s a place where 1MB broadband access is now a human right and where every person being equal is so ingrained in the culture that the Finnish government considered forcing Finnair, the local air carrier, to get rid of its frequent flyer program because it would ultimately result in people being treated differently. (In the same vein, there is no first class on Finnair and I still haven’t figured out what the difference is between business class and coach, if any.) Russia, on the other hand, is not a continuum of haves to have nots; it is two very distinct and drastically different islands of haves and have nots. It’s still a place where visitors and even locals cannot fully trust the police. And although you still need cash for many stores and certainly all cabs, I found a couple ATMs in St. Petersburg which dispensed US dollars and Euros but not Russian rubles. (The ruble has been getting stronger recently but this doesn’t say much for faith in the local currency!) Don’t get me wrong, St. Petersburg is a hustling, bustling, 21st century city but what is shocking is how different it is from Helsinki which is only a stone’s throw away. It’s really amazing to see cities which are so geographically near to one another end up so strikingly different given, in theory, a lot of commonality.

Russia is interesting in that it is so far behind in a lot of ways, at least in my opinion, but then the country has still been able to accomplish some pretty amazing feats. They were the first country to put a satellite in space and have stayed at the forefront of weaponry and defense development, building nuclear weapons in lockstep with the US (which, for the record, I don’t support on either side). It’s clear that the Russian government has money, whether from oil or the takeover of its citizens businesses, so they are able to invest it according to their priorities. The sad thing is that the governmental control and restrictions, almost to the point of isolating the country for several decades, have really limited the country overall and it is the poorest citizens who have suffered the most from this.

Another interesting challenge for the Russian government is the country’s size and geography. Russia bridges Europe and Asia so is a bit of an “in between” itself. (It is officially considered to be part of Asia but that seems rather strange.) The sheer size of the country makes it difficult to impossible to really govern. Russia has an estimated 140 million citizens but nobody actually knows the true number as there are people living in the middle of Siberia (literally) and in the far north of the country with the polar bears (also literally) many of whom are unlikely to have ever been in touch with anyone outside of their community let alone from the census bureau. People joke about the “fly over” states in the central US but Russia is largely a fly over country. British Airways, for instance, flies direct from London to Shanghai, Hong Kong, Seoul, and Tokyo among many other cities in Asia and doesn’t even have a flight to Moscow. It’s almost like the rest of the world has just circumvented Russia given its political history, governmental restrictions, and constant corruption. While there are many countries which don’t play nice with certain other countries I can’t think of another one which has been so categorically isolated (or has shut out all the others, it’s not entirely clear to me which has been the primary driver).

Things are certainly changing and Russia is how seen as a huge growth market, the doors opening for trade and business and investors now racing in to develop this “new” market, but it’s still quite a different business culture and I’ve often heard it described as the “wild west” (“wild east” seems more appropriate but is not as catchy I guess!). I briefly considered going to Moscow for this year but before I was willing to officially say that I was ready to move there I wanted to talk to someone local. I found an American woman in the office there and called her up. Her first words to me were, “Well, Moscow is great if you want to do some really interesting work – it’s basically a third world country with a lot of money so you’ll see things here you won’t see anywhere else…but it’s a total crap place to live. The weather is terrible, the pollution is suffocating, the language is indecipherable, the people are rude…” That took Moscow off the list pretty quick! I think she gave me a very extreme view (although the language really is indecipherable!) but while I was interested in exotic, I wasn’t at all interested in a “crap place to live.” On the business side, I’ve heard that most of your time spent in Russia, at least as a consulting firm, involves trying to get your Russian clients to pay up after the case has been completed. I heard a story where a partner went to meet with his client to collect payment and he was led into a very lavishly decorated (think dark wood furniture and deep maroon velvet-covered walls), smoke-filled room where he was offered wine or vodka while he waited for his client. His client showed up a few minutes later, shook hands with his guest, and then flipped back both sides of his suit jacket to showcase the two handguns he had strapped inside as he sat down. Gulp. I don’t know a lot of people who have the guts to put up with that every day, no matter what the potential of the market!

I spent most of my last afternoon in St. Petersburg shopping for a Matryoshka doll (the small, painted wooden dolls which are stacked one inside the next in decreasing size). My globetrotting godparents gave me one when I was small and I was always really intrigued by it so this time I bought myself a fancy one. This was also a bit overwhelming as I walked into a shop which literally had thousands of Matryoshka dolls lining every wall multiple dolls deep in multiple rooms, some of which were thousands of dollars. This was another interesting experience as I negotiated the price with a teenage girl who threw in a book of Russian fairytales in an attempt to close the deal. I ultimately got her down 25% (I’m sure I still probably paid too much) but she was a stickler and I had to give the book back. It was pretty funny.

I was feeling very proud of myself for being smart enough to hold on to the taxi driver’s company card from my trip in because his company’s rate was about $16 to the airport while getting a taxi from the hotel directly was around $40. That’s one heck of a mark-up! I tried calling to book the taxi myself but couldn’t get through so had to ask my hotel to do it for me. Of course they pushed back because they wanted their $40 but I was insistent and they finally caved. I had even thought to book it a few hours in advance of when I needed to leave having learned something from my experience in Moscow. The taxi arrived exactly on time and I jumped in and gave myself a pat on the back for not being last minute (for once!) and for getting a good deal on the cab. I settled in, we drove about half a mile to the central square in front of the cathedral and a police officer standing in the middle of about eight lanes of traffic flagged down my driver. He stopped in the middle of the eight lanes, the cop leaned in the window and asked him for his documentation (all in Russian of course but the driver handed over several forms of identification), took a few flips through, said something to the driver, and then waived us over to the side of the road. We pulled over, me not having a clue as to what was going on, and then my taxi driver jumped out, said something to me in Russian which I assume was, “Please wait. I will be right back.” and left me sitting in an idled car in one of the side lanes of traffic in the middle of the city center while he ran across several lanes to get to the cop car parked on the other side. I watched as the cop put my driver in the back of his police car and shut the door – bad sign! I immediately started having visions of a Russian version of the TV show “Cops.” What was I going to do now? Was he coming back? What if he didn’t? How would I get my bag out of the trunk? Would I be able to find another driver? What if I missed my flight and then had to leave after my visa expired?! I decided that I would wait ten minutes before getting out and frantically searching for another driver. I was getting more and more nervous as the minutes ticked by and had already crawled over the front seat to try to figure out where the trunk latch was when the cop suddenly (finally!) opened his car door and let my driver out. My driver ran back across the lanes of oncoming traffic, jumped in, I guess said something like, “Sorry for the delay.” and we were on our way. What a classic exit from Russia! I breathed a sigh of relief and was just happy things had worked out.

I spent my last rubles in a Friday’s restaurant (funny!) in the airport before hopping on the plane for my 45 minute ride back to civilization. St. Petersburg was great to see and visiting Russia is really fascinating but I finally understood my Finnish friend Laura who after only two days in Moscow said, “It always feels good to come home after Russia.” Amen.

There was even a silver lining to be found in my bad food weekend…it was the first time all year I was actually excited to get back to Finnish cuisine!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

When in Rome

I heard a new Finnish expression recently from a client who said, “I am out like a snowman!” He was trying to express that he didn't know anything about a new initiative in the company and needed help to understand. My interpretation of this was that it was similar to the English expression, “left out in the cold” but that the Finns took it to another level with “out like a snowman.” As a snowman, you add insult to injury with not only being left out in the cold but being left out in the cold wearing nothing but a few buttons, a top hot, and a carrot nose with which to survive it! So, maybe mortified in addition to being clueless. Regardless, it is quite an appropriate phrase given how much of the year is cold and conducive to snowmen. The last chunks of ice in the Baltic Sea off the shores of Helsinki melted at the end of April and it already started snowing again in the beginning of October. We’re now in the midst of the steady and scarily fast decline into the ever increasing darkness. I’ve been told to prepare myself for November, supposedly the worst month of the year.

I got a break from the cold temperatures a couple weeks ago when I was able to spend a long weekend in Rome. I left my apartment at 6am in the cold and the rain, right around freezing, and landed in Rome at 10am to 75°F – it was amazing! I had been to Rome several years ago but it was only for a rushed couple of days in the middle of the heat and tourist onslaught in June. On that trip, I arrived by train at 6am and was welcomed by near 100°F sweltering heat and, after having slept very little over the previous two nights of night trains (and two days of no access to a shower – and no, for those of you wondering, swimming in the ocean doesn’t count), I was really dragging my feet. The city was uncomfortably hot, I was uncomfortably dirty, and every tourist site, or even street corner, was uncomfortably crowded. I saw most of the major sites over the next 36 hours or so but was exhausted and, sadly, hardly remembered anything at all.

This trip, on the other hand, I arrived well-rested if still recovering from the flu, took the train into the city (which I knew well from my previous trip to the Amalfi Coast in May), and arrived to perfectly pleasant weather and a bustling but not overcrowded city. It also helped a bit that I was heading to a beautiful hotel and didn’t have a backpack on my back. What a difference a job and a little money makes with respect to travel! Channeling a little bit of the old backpacker (i.e. the part of me which is too cheap to pay for taxis!), I made my way from the train station to the hotel by foot. The 30-minute walk was a great reintroduction to Italian culture from its polar opposite in Finland – more people said hello (or “Buona sera,” rather) to me in 30 minutes in Rome than have said anything similar to me in Finland over the past 10 months. Unfortunately, no, this is not an exaggeration.

Rome is a beautiful swirling of the old and the new with fancy scooters practically flying through tight alleyways of stone streets, a fashion model doing a photo shoot from the window of a thousand year old building, an ambulance speeding by less than 20 yards from the Colosseum walls, and even iPhone covers being sold next to fresh flowers and watercolor paintings at the top of the Spanish Steps. Around every turn of every corner is another lovely, unique alleyway with beautiful old buildings, Italian men wearing aprons giving open arm welcomes to their pizzerias, another stunning Catholic church tucked at the end of a forgotten street, and then, suddenly, the Colosseum, the Pantheon, the Vatican. It is truly an amazing city, both with so much to remind us of its ancient past but at the same time careening along full speed in the 21st century.

I had visited St. Peter’s Basilica at the Vatican the last time I was in Rome but I went back this time with much more appreciation for what I was seeing. The previous trip had been a whirlwind and very much a “check the box” type of first-time visit. This time I took my time and spent several hours in the Vatican Museum which is both completely overwhelming in terms of sheer number of exhibits and completely awe-inspiring when you think of the artistic genius housed within this single museum’s walls. There are ancient Egyptian artifacts including tombs and preserved bodies (honestly, maybe a bit too much is on exhibit but it is interesting even if a bit disturbing to see), some of the most famous paintings and frescoes in the world, ancient Roman sculptures and ruins, not to mention the Vatican grounds and buildings themselves, impressive in their own right.

The main attraction, and rightfully so, is the Sistine Chapel. I did not visit the Vatican Museum on my first trip to Rome so had not seen the Sistine Chapel before – what a travesty! No trip to Rome is complete with seeing the Museum and, more importantly, the Sistine Chapel itself. Michelangelo, who considered himself to be a sculptor more so than a painter, was “asked” by Pope Julius II to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and although Michelangelo was supposedly rather hesitant to take it on, particularly when it would detract from his primary art of sculpting for several years (it ended up taking him four years, from 1508-1512 to finish), ended up taking the challenge and what a gift it was to the world that he did! The Chapel frescoes are fantastic individually and truly one of the world’s artistic masterpieces when taken together as a collection.

The most famous and recognizable fresco is the one depicting when God created man in which God is reaching his hand down from heaven toward Adam’s (from Adam and Eve, of course) outstretched hand. Seeing this fresco amidst all of the others telling the story of the creation of man, man’s original sin, and finally The Last Judgment is really powerful. Michelangelo’s genius here is the telling of such important Bible stories through relatively few yet very descriptive paintings, making it real and meaningful for even those who couldn’t read at the time when it was originally painted. I don’t know anything about artistic genius but, as with other things, I know it when I see it and the Sistine Chapel is absolutely brilliant. Pictures are not allowed within the Chapel which is frustrating but also understandable. This is something you have to see, and sit in silence to appreciate for a while, in person.

Besides enjoying plenty of gelato and pizza I spent most of my time in Rome wandering around the amazing historical sights (very convenient that both gelato and pizza are both good on-the-go foods…and available for purchase about every ten meters) including the Colosseum, the Pantheon, and the Roman Forum. The Colosseum is something that I remember from my first trip to Rome and it was just as incredible and overwhelming the second time I saw it as it was the first time. Knowing that it was built nearly 2,000 years ago (completed around 80 A.D.) and is (largely) still standing today in all its glory is really amazing. What is also amazing is what actually went on in the Colosseum…prisoners fighting exotic animals to the death as a form of community entertainment is pretty unfathomable and, thank goodness, is no longer seen as a spectator event (or exist as an event at all, at least to my knowledge)! Standing high in the Colosseum and looking down upon the now exposed labyrinth where these prisoners and animals were once confined made the visualization a bit too real for me. To be fair, the Colosseum was also used for more standard arts performances including plays based on classic mythology and re-enactments of famous battles, not just gladiatorial contests and executions. It is estimated that it could hold 40,000-80,000 spectators (apparently difficult to estimate because most of the actual seats have been long gone for hundreds of years)!

The Colosseum is one of the most popular tourist sites in Rome and, perhaps, one of the most iconic constructions in the world today. Given that it is so famous and that I had visited before, I was surprised to learn that the Colosseum has strong ties to the Roman Catholic Church and that the Pope even leads a “Way of the Cross” processional from the Colosseum grounds every year on Good Friday. Perhaps the most surprising thing about the Colosseum however is finding that this ancient architectural wonder is smack dab in the middle of current day Rome madness. The Rome of today was built literally on top of, around, underneath, beside, and sometimes straight through the Rome of yesterday. I was struck by this as I tried to get a good picture of the Colosseum and first had to wait for the Italian labor union picketers, several speeding taxis, and a tourist bus to move out of the way after which I had to figure out how to hide a high-rise building crane from the back of the shot.

The Roman Forum is another pretty amazing thing to see, particularly because some of the ruins are approaching 3,000 years old and are again front and center in the middle of present day Rome. Because of the ancient Roman practice of just building over top of old buildings and ruins, the excavation of the Forum today shows ruins from several different centuries, some of which dating back to the 7th century BC. I remember the Forum from my first time in Rome and being in awe of the fact that they let visitors walk as they pleased all over the ruins. Relatively little is roped off and visitors are allowed to explore the areas quite freely which struck me as strange coming from the US where tourist sites, even those which are very “new” by comparison to anything in Rome, have tightly controlled (and often fenced in) walking paths, required guides, and a long annoying list of visitors’ rules. Touring the Roman Forum is much more of a free for all…and seems to have been so for several hundred years

I had a fantastic three days of walking and exploring till I almost dropped (to be revived again and again by the powers of the aforementioned gelato and pizza!) and once again confirmed my love for Italy. The sun was shining, the people were (as always) lovely and friendly, the buildings beautiful and in a rainbow of different colors, the ruins jaw-dropping, the sculptures gorgeous and plentiful, and the attention overwhelming and much-needed after ten months in Finland! As a woman, every Italian man you walk by gives you a brazen and rather piercing once over and follows up with a big smile and, “Buona sera!” (Good evening!) or the personally preferred “Ciao, bella!” (Hello, beautiful!). I met an Italian woman at the airport who had lived in the US for several years and then moved to the UK with her British husband but who, now again so close to Italy, couldn’t stay away. She was asking me about Finland and my travels and when I mentioned that the Finns were wonderful people but quite private and a bit difficult to get to know initially she said, “Even the men?!” I said, yes, even the men, and told her that after three months in Finland I realized how much my self esteem relied on input from other people as I was telling my mom on the phone in a low moment, “No one, male or female, has looked at me in three months. No one has even noticed me in any context. I feel like I am invisible!” My new Italian friend again came back with, “NO! They don’t say anything to you? The men?! Really? What is wrong with them?! Even the men?!” I laughed, a quintessential Italian response if ever there was one! I told her that one reason I think that Americans (well, basically, anyone from anywhere!) love travelling in Italy is because the people and the culture are so friendly, welcoming, and open. I told her that it was a great change of pace to be in Italy and that I just soaked up as many ciao bellas as I could and tried not to think about the fact that Italian men say this to every woman…quite literally every woman. She paused, grabbed my arm, and dropped her chin to look me dead in the eyes, “Honey, definitely don’t think about that. I mean, who even cares?” I laughed and agreed. And for those Finns or any shy men who may be reading, “Ciao, bella” and a smile goes a loooooong way and certainly a hell of a lot longer than does ignoring someone…giving a whole new meaning to the word “ignorance,” at least in my mind. Ha!

You could really spend weeks in Rome exploring the many different areas and types of ruins (and enjoying gratuitous amounts of both gelato and ciao bellas) and I, unfortunately, could only spend several hours over the course of a long weekend. I pushed myself pretty hard in order to see as much as I could and all of the things on my “must-see” list and then got in a cab on the way to the airport and drove by several more pockets of ruins which I hadn’t even heard about, some were individual buildings or complexes while others were the equivalent of small cities. Besides being concerned for my life given my self-talking and American music singing disaster of an Italian taxi driver (the traffic and drivers in Rome are crazy!), I was also frustrated that I had missed so much and couldn’t stay longer. Thankfully, I had already thought ahead about another visit and had thrown a single coin into the famous Trevi Fountain earlier that day which, according to local legend, means that I will be back to visit Rome again. I certainly will go back…it just might be a little more difficult to do a long weekend there from San Francisco next year! I haven’t yet looked into a career transition from consulting to gelato scooping but I would be extremely tempted if I meant I could move to Rome!